What going on?

There is something really not right here. He's always on that damn computer now even when watching tv. He thinks I don't see him switch his screens when I come in. I'm not stupid. I have a sneaking suspicion of what's going on. He's done this before. Idk if want to confront him about it or drop hints. Yeah right...like he knows what a hint is...god damnit!

Gasping....Choking....

Help me! I'm lo
...Hello? Am I here?

Can u see (read) me? I wonder...are my eyes open? WTF?!

It was midnight when I was finally able to lay my not-so-sleepy head down to sleep. Its almost unheard of...but the minute my head hit the pillow I found myself devoured by the peaceful, calm surroundings of my dreams. What a strange, yet tranquil feeling!

Suddenly, I felt my body stiffen as an unknown sound invaded my senses. My skin started to tingle and burn. Every hair on my body strained as I tried to orientate myself. As the unknown sound moves closer, I hear the frantic beating of my heart echoing in my ears. What is this presence that has haunted me all these years? Am I going to finally be able to come face-to-face with it?

Closer...step-by-step, inch-by-inch... I feel the air thicken around me. My breathing becomes more rapid, and difficult by the second. My once burning skin has become cold and numb, yet still tingles from the electricity that fills the air. Something has a hold of me. Its firm grip squeezes the very air out of my soul...help me...I cannot speak...I cannot breathe...I feel my body give in...

It was at that moment that I was abruptly awakened...gasping...choking...

Slowly, I regained my senses. I looked over and saw the serene face of my husband as he laid sleeping and uninterrupted by my somewhat traumatic ordeal. Somehow...I am filled with familiarity...warmth...and security...

I slowly slid in next to him and once again lay my not-so-sleepy head down...only this time I do not fall asleep quite so easily...and I pray not to dream again...

Looking to be found....again....

I haven't been on here in ages... I've been bad but I am trying to make up for it. I am getting the urge to write again...at least just my thoughts. Put my scrambled words down in physical form rather than taking up space in my head... I feel lost and need to find myself again...I was never good at writing and my grammar sucks, but...its an outlet...

My husband has been acting weird lately...secretive...jumpy when I come near. I don't understand why he is like this...sigh...