My downfalls as a Cancer...

It must be the winter-ish season that does this to me.  Perhaps its the time alone?  Every emotion and sensation imaginable is being thrown at me.  I feel like I've been tossed into the dryer and left on "fluff".  

Locked in. No way out. Running out of Air. Trembling. Annoyed. Confused.

What is it with me and allowing myself to become so inundated and violated.  Perhaps I should stop making excuses.  I should go grab my shit and head out somewhere and capture the "soul" of some quiet back road or unrelenting body of nature.  I need that one trusting person I can unleash my words on.  One who wont judge, but just listen. One who will offer a hand to hold onto.  A shoulder to cry on, and later, laughter and weird conversations to help keep the sanity alive.  

I don't want my feelings judged, my words analyzed, or my thoughts thought about. There is no thinking about thinking here...its just diarrhea of the brain. 

A friend sent me my horoscope today.  It states, "We may want to ditch our responsibilities in exchange for some romance today.  With the Moon in Leo, we are filled with a festive spirit that inspires us to do something fun."   Do you believe in it? Astrology?  I think I do.  I mean, why not?  Life needs to have some hope to cling to.  I need hope to cling to.  That doesn't mean I allow it to drag me down, but to give me a little rise to know that there might be something better out there for me...even if it does change from day to day.

As a Cancer, I have many downfalls. One of which is I'm way to hypersensitive to emotions (of others and my own).  On the positive side, I'm caring, loyal, trustworthy and dedicated.  On the negative side, it allows people to walk all over me.  The good and the bad.  The highs and the lows.  Such is the duality of life. We have to remember, we cannot exist without both. There is no good without bad.  No light with out dark.  No love without pain.  Its hard to find the balance and harmony in this, but I survive. I am strong.